October Baby

I had the chance to go see this movie tonight with two of my dearest friends.  I have been anticipating this movie for a long time.  The fabulous, Gianna Jessen, has been sharing stories of October Baby for the past year or so on her facebook page.  She has talked about her song, "Ocean Floor" (amazing!) and shared stories of people coming together to make this film.  I was so excited to see this movie!  But, this blog post is not going to be a review of the movie, its about my experience watching this movie.  If you want a review, google can help you with that.  Your welcome.

We entered the theater and picked our seats.  As the previews played on, there was a huge group of women talking in their not-so-theater-quiet-voices, and instantly, I got annoyed.  Didn't these women know how long I have wanted to watch this movie? They better not talk through the movie or I might have to bust out the shhhhhh, I don't like being the shusher.  As the movie starts, the Ladies begin to settle in and quiet down.  whew.  I didn't hear a peep out of them until the credits (I'll get back to them in a minute).  The theater begins to slowly fill up and a woman sits next to me with a couple seats between us.  This is where God begins to do a work in me...

I can picture God sitting there with a big giant bowl of perfectly popped popcorn, watching me as I shift in my seat and roll my eyes at this "theater neighbor".  He probably giggled as I looked to my left to see who this woman was who kept making giant sighs with each scene change.  We're halfway through this movie and the Holy Spirit begins to talk in my ear.  What does a Girl have to do to watch a movie around here?!  Okay, okay Lord, I hear you in your gentle interrupting way, talk to me.

[by the way, the movie is incredible.]

He begins to tell me that there are people in this theater who need this movie.  They need to hear the message.  They need to sigh, cry, and ask why.  In His awesomely, loving way said, "Its not about your comfort, my Sweets.  You need to extend My grace."  Got it.  I relaxed and let my theater neighbor sigh and cry without sideways glances from me.  But, that wasn't all God wanted to tell me...

[movie.  still amazing.  I am woman therefore, I multi-task.]

As my conversation with God continues, He asks me to lean over and ask my theater neighbor if she needs prayer...  Hold your heavenly horses!  You want me to do WHAT?  Now listen, this is not the first time He has put me in a place to ask a perfect stranger if they need prayer.  I knew there was no chance I was getting out of this one!
Awkwardly awesome.

As the credits roll, I am sitting there frozen in my seat because this movie was so powerful AND I knew I had a task to accomplish.  Stifling my tears and fears, I lean over and said, "Um Mame?  I couldn't help but notice you did a lot of sighing during that movie.  Did something hit home for you?  Can I pray for you?"  I'm sure I sounded like a crazy lunatic because I spit the sentence out so fast.  She sweetly responded, "No.  My husband died 7 years ago and I have a hard time seeing others hearts breaking.  But, thank you."  We giggled uncomfortably and wiped our tears.  Thank you Jesus, for this precious woman who has a heart that breaks like yours.

As we sat there in stunned amazement by the movie we had just witnessed.  The entire theater clears out except my girlfriends and the group of preview-chatting Ladies.  As my friend put it, "Everyone out there [meaning the public]  did not just experience what we experienced.  I just want to sit in it for a moment."  So true, my friend.  I think the group of "chatty Cathy's" were feeling the same way, none of them moved.  Until one of them began to weep.  Her circle of friends enveloped her with hugs and comforting words.  I sat there with tears in my eyes because I had just witnessed a movie that God wrote, directed, produced, and starred in.  (He left the shocker for the credits...I am not kidding you.  If you see this movie, watch the interview during the credits.  Blew. My. Socks. Off.)

My friends and I felt this group of women needed to be alone in that theater together.  We tip-toed out.

I knew this movie would be good.  I knew this movie would heal, encourage, and bring comfort.  I had no idea I would witness it happening as I watched it on the big screen.  Pow-er-ful.  This movie is not just about abortion survivors, this movie is about the gift of forgiveness, the pursuit of truth, and so much more. Go. See. It.

I want to challenge you when you hear the Holy Spirit whisper to your heart, listen.  He's got some cool stuff to say and yes, He may shove you out of your comfort zone.  You will be okay... you will, I promise.

Comfortable Imperfection

There should be a jealousy for the Lord's honour and, compassion for men's souls like a well-spring ever in the heart; and then the outgoing effort should be with all the wisdom of the serpent and the harmlessness of the dove; and "if any lack wisdom, let him ask of God." -William Arnot

There is beauty in weeds.

I have been asking God to grow me, I have been begging for Him to clean out my weeds.  It is definitely a big job because I've got a lot of junk floating around in my heart.  I refuse to put my God in a box and I am trusting that He will clean me out in His loving and gentle way.

I strongly believe that God has given me a unique perspective on life.  I did not come to this realization easily nor quickly.  All my young life was spent altering my views to fit comfortably with those surrounding me in life so that I would not "be wrong". I struggled to achieve my own opinions and perceptions. I gained a perspective early in life that making mistakes or being different was not okay. Perfection was the goal. I desperately tried to teach myself character traits, talents, and alter my appearance just to "fit in".  Insecurity was the name of the game and I was a big player.

Fast forward to my adult years and I still struggle with insecurities.  The difference now, I am way more comfortable in my own skin and with the gifts God has blessed me with.  I have nurtured my faith and relationship to my King, it is my own.  I say the wrong things, I give the wrong advice, and I certainly don't have it all together.  Satan knows my weakness and thankfully he is NOT creative so he keeps trying the same tactics over and over.  His attacks are getting weaker because I am getting stronger.  My strength is coming from a higher understanding.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. Proverbs 9:10

Instead of striving for perfection, I am now in the process of being okay in my imperfection.  I am on a journey of growing in the knowledge of who God is and what a ride it is!

For those of you who cross my path on a regular basis, I humbly ask for your grace and kindness when I display my imperfection to you.  Know that my heart is genuine and true.

Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. -Marilyn Monroe

(by this quote alone, I believe Norma Jean and myself to be kindred spirits)

quotes

I was doing a little research on something and stumbled across this quote by the loveable Charlie Brown:

This is my depressed stance. When you're depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you'll start to feel better. If you're going to get any joy out of being depressed, you've got to stand like this.

I love this quote.  Its so honest without being "in yo face" honest, ya know?  Depression is serious and if you find yourself in a super funk more than not, get some help...professional help.  It does take courage to ask for help but don't allow yourself to stay in a "depressed stance".

On a sidenote... I want to grow my typography/design skills.  I thought a fun way to do that is play around with quotes and make little posters out of them. I figured I would start today.

Valentines 2012

Gummybear, Skittle, & Jellybean

I completely forgot Valentine's Day until yesterday afternoon. I have three children which means I needed 80 valentines stat! Mom of the year award goes to....

I needed cards I could quickly print out, have the kids sign and be done with it. So heartfelt, right? Okay, okay, I'll give it a bit more effort. Thankfully, my dear friend Pinterest saved me. I found 2 types of Valentines that didn't involve too much work and they weren't candy!

The first one was for the Boys to give out...

POPPING BY WITH A VALENTINE HI!
I made these in my design program and printed them out for the boys to sign.  I went to Staples and bought giant boxes of microwave popcorn and taped their cards to the top of each bag.  I know microwave popcorn isn't the healthiest treat but, its a better snack then some of the candy that my kids brought home from school today!

 

Next up were Jellybean's valentines.  I found this idea on Skip To My Lou (what a fabulous resource for all things crafty!)  The "sticky note valentines" were created by Amy Cluck (another darling site for inspiration).  I loved the template she provided but, wanted to give it my own flair and I wanted to do smaller sticky notes so I made my own design.  You should check out Amy's template...ADORABLE!

Because these were from my Jellybean, I made the colors sweet and soft.  I wish I would have put the "stuck on you" bigger on the inside but, oh well.

After I printed the design onto white cardstock, I folded them and had my daughter sign them for her classmates. 

I went to Staples to pick up a package of mini sticky notes (set of 12 pads) and I separated the pads into sets of 3's (her teacher got a whole pad).  I stuck the pads inside each folded valentine.  I decided not to include the velcro closure like Amy had suggested in her version because they stayed closed well enough on their own.

(sticky notes inside)

Thank you, Pinterest and all the amazingly creative people out there that give this Momma last-minute ideas.

I'm in the band.

When I heard Louie do this at a Chris Tomlin concert it rocked my world.  Completely changed the way I hear nature and worship my King.  I was reminded of this demonstration this past weekend when I had the opportunity to spend the weekend on a leader retreat.

We stood around a bonfire singing praises to our King. The mighty ocean crashing to the side of us, the crackling of the fire, the stars above our heads, and the sound of our voices in the quiet of an empty beach (except a dog barking but, I just think he was singing too).  Standing shoulder to shoulder with others on the same journey, it was overwhelming.  I am so tiny.  I am a speck on tiny's back.

No matter where we are or how we worship, God hears it all.  Can you imagine the symphony he hears every moment of every day?  He doesn't need us to sing praises to Him, He's got a world already praising Him.  Yet, He allows us to join the band.  Incredibly humbling. I encourage you to watch this video.  No matter what you believe, I am confident this will change your perspective.  Science is cool.